Because it's Christmas and this is where you need to be.

Ahh, holidays. Got out Friday afternoon, after a pretty chill week. Had three tests cancelled, because of all the goings on at school. (Being one of my teachers is missing and one of my classmates died from cancer. It was such a sin, the whole school was kind of down for a while. Well, still is really.) All the teachers were just so exausted and stressed about Mr. Banfeild and stuff that we just watched movies all week, pretty much. It sucks to see my school, which is usually so active and spirited just so low-key right before Christmas. Hopefully things start looking up, because as a community I don't think we can take many more memorial services.

So everything's wrapped and ready :). I really love this time of year. Everyone just seems so happy to spend time with each other, especially my friends. I swear I've got about nine breakfasts and gift exchanges, etc, in the next couple of days. Gets me out of the house I suppose.

So all in all, things are going pretty good. I know I haven't updated this blog in so long. Maybe it'll be one of my New Year's Resolutions.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Moving on was a chore I was never quite ready for

Way to not blog ever, there Jessa. Just been so busy. The schoolwork is intense. I've had a math exam, three term projects, and two essays. I've been working on the weekend nights, which sucks, but my shift will be over December 13th :). It's usually only until eight or nine anyway. Well I saw twilight and realized that I haven't talked about here yet... if you don't want to listen then plug your ears! Wait...

So I actually liked it! We went to the mall at around 12:15 last Thursday, and I got mostly all my christmas shopping done, went for coffee with my friend, went to piano for an hour, went BACK to the mall and starting lining up at 7ish. We were first in line, naturally. I bought a Dr. Pepper, and it randomly decided to explode over everything... I reached my arm out to get it away from me, and stuck it right into another girl who was writing a paper, I felt terrible. SO TWILIGHT (I get so off track) was greatish. I guess it was so much like the book that I liked it. Cinematastically (yeah yeah I know) it wasn't that great, and the acting was all around terrible. But nevertheless I liked it :P

Well later on I'm going to post my December playlist. It's going to be very Christmas-y. So beware.

I'm miles from where you are

Finally some good times this week :) Including but not limited to:

1. Twilight. Thursday night. First open showing in North America. Awww yeuh. Now I'm pretty sure it's going to suck but I don't even care. I like the book and I'm going to love waiting in line for hours, taking pictures, reading books, eating candy.
2. School holidays. Half day Thursday for parent-teacher interviews and PD day Friday. YES.
3. Christmas shopping. After half-day Thurs. Before movie.
4. 'You Found Me' - The Fray. Thursday.
5. Megan's party. Includes: Cobra Starship dancing, A Walk To Remember, trips to Jerimiah's, sitting on the roof, and a lot of Starbursts.
6. 24 movie- Sunday night.

It's'a gonna be a wonderful week, I'm thinkin.

All I know is I'm done acting

I think my life works in threes. The year that was terrible, AKA 2007, contained 3 life changing things that really made my life kind of horrible for a while. I was freaking out all the time, unhappy, you know. The works. So lately, this has been happening again. So far there's been two pretty terrible things happening, and I find myself waiting for a third. This is very unrational, I'm aware. Maybe I should like, do something about it?

Yeah. I won't let myself fall into something like that again. (This post makes no sense, I know, I'm just talking to myself. Carry on.) I'm going to do something about it. After Christmas when things slow down I'm going to get out there. I'm going to stop holing myself up worrying. I don't care. I'll be the same person, just, I don't know. Less inhibited. Maybe I'll go out with Kate to her crazy parties. (I won't be crazy, I'll just.. go.) I'll go to after-parties. I'll spend my money instead of constantly saving it for something I don't even know about yet. I'll wear eyeliner. I'll act my age instead of eighty. I'll blast music. I won't care if people call it 'weird' because they listen to Tila Tequila. Take pictures, make friends, have a life. I'll have stories to tell.

Take this as a wicked early New Year's Resolution.

A body full of oxygen

And that's it.

After 11 months.

It feels good.

Probably not for you, I know. But it's what I needed. I'm sorry.

I can't remember when the earth turned slowly

So the election is over. You know, I don't think anyone in the world can say that the 2008 election did not affect them. It affects, in one way or another, everyone. (We watched CNN results in Canadian History- that's saying something.) And I don't want to be overly political or anything, but from an "outsider's" point of view, I think America made the right choice. Only time can tell, but I think that the change that happened was good and maybe things will start to turn around for the States and for the world.

Today was not a very good day. Terrible math test, I swear AP math was the worst decision I ever made in my entire life. And then french, where I was talking to my friend in french, about french, along with everyone else in the class, and I got chosen to be moved, of course. My teacher is one of those people who will embarrass anyone just to show his power over the class, because he's older, or smarter, or whatever. Ugh. And then I went to Ashley's and we creeped on people. They might not have known that I was in the room while talking to Ash on MSN... ahh so evil... maybe not a very good thing...

However, tuesday was a great day. Just a normal day where things just seem to go right, you know? Took loads of pictures at dance, running around in the leaves downtown. It was loads of fun. :)

Well I suppose I'll go watch So You Think You Can Dance, and then The Office. And jm.org is down for me! It's been forever!

Also- I realized that my piano teacher says "You know what I mean?" So much. It makes me laugh every time.

The only lonely letter

Dear,

It's been a long time. We see each other everyday, but it's been forever since we've actually talked. About things that matter. We used to be "that couple". People's parents, for God's sake, think we're made for each other. Jessie would tell me "Please don't break up, I'll be devastated!". We were like that for a long time. A good year, for sure.

At the beginning, we were each other. All the time we were there. Let's be honest, we didn't have much to do last year. No jobs, hardly any schoolwork, all the same friends. This year's different. We're working, we have AP courses, rehearsals, parties, and 1000 new people to meet and to make fit into our lives. I've known you for a long time. You've known me for a long time. You know I don't handle these things well, I know you handle them in the wrong way. (Come on, we're a psychologists dream, remember?) All this piled up until we both freaked, in our own ways, to our own people. (Except for Ashley, poor girl, has to be the best friend AND the cousin. She's heard her share of our problems.)

I feel it's getting worse, and I know you feel it too. And you know, it's OK. I knew we weren't going to get married. We're teenagers, that's unrealistic. So maybe our time's up. And I don't want to be dramatic about it. (Ok ok, maybe this letter that you'll never read might be a bit dramatic- but it's true.) I guess that's just it. And I really hope you understand that this is the only reason. But see, I know you won't. You'll blame either yourself or me. You'll break another phone. That's why I'm scared. So please just realize that this is life.

Always,
Jessa.

you need me less than I need you

Quick note:

The Fray, new album, February 3rd, 2009.
:D

More tomorrow.

I'm thriving just the same

Ah the dance. Shoved together with all three sweaty, drunk grades. I have to say that it wasn't the best dance I've ever been too. So me, my friend, and four of the kids from Rice snuck off into the cafeteria and just talked. For two full hours. I hardly knew them, but we shared the fact that we weren't drunk and we didn't want to take care of the people who were. That's what I love (sometimes) about this year. People who haven't been together for eleven years. You don't talk about the drama, you just talk about anything, really. It's refreshing.

So much work this weekend. 6 pages of Chem, English, French project. I have to call the freaking french CBC to interview. I'm pretty sure they're going to laugh at my lack of french accent. And today, work, and rehearsal. So pretty much dancing all day.

Clan day was amazing, Halloween was fun. And now all I need to figure out is the drama with the boy. Oh my.

It's no fun on the sidelines

Dance tonight :) First one of the year! Hopefully it's not usual skeety Heart, and maybe we could have some nice sober fun? That'd be peachy, kids. I borrowed a shirt from my friend Morgan, (we had a nice little fashion show at ballet last night) and I think I'm going to go curl my crazy hair. Should be a time.

I love spirit week. Tomorrow is clan day! (And to anyone that's reading this, each homeroom in my school belongs to one of six clans, and on clan day you dress up in your clan colour and there's activites and such.) Today was Halloween day, (Lunch- we wrapped Katelyn up in toilet paper and had a fashion show- it was beautiful) yesterday was tight & bright day, tuesday was superhero vs. villain day and monday was G's & Gents day. It's only fun if you actually are all for it, though. There's so many people who don't care enough to take this and just have fun with it! It bugs me. Two weeks out of the year you get to wear something crazy and not get laughed at. Life's too short to stand around and talk about how stupid we look. Look stupid with us! It's much more fun :)

I'm realizing how very different we really are, ya know. I always say to be independent. Not clingy. You're the opposite. You're hang-on-for-dear-life. Maybe you are clingy. Maybe I'm realizing this now. Maybe I'm not okay with it.

Maybe there's too many maybes.

It's just that it's delicate.

Trying out this blog thing :)

More tomorrow.

-J.